How To Protect Your Intellectual Property

The only thing of real value you will produce as a researcher is intellectual property. This page explains how to protect your IP.

  1. Install a firewall with network address translation.
  2. The instant you come up with a new and valuable idea you must tell all of your buddies. It is more important that they think you are clever than that you actually protect your idea.
  3. Adopt, as a matter of high principle, a stance against any form of intellectual property protection. This demonstrates your idealism in that you are researching not to get paid money, but to contribute to the pool of knowledge. This principle should be put on hold at annual salary review time and it should be abandoned utterly if in fact you accidentally come up with an idea that really is worth money.
  4. Release your code on the web as soon as it gets through the compiler (or earlier if it is a really innovative idea).
  5. Sometimes you will need to write a patent. They are good for your CV after all – it makes you look „applied“. Here is a handy translation table
RealityPatent Application
Initialise w=0Initialise w with an arbitrary value
One…One or a multitude …
AlwaysSometimes
NeverSometimes
SometimesAlways
SometimesNever
(x^2+y^3)/2 -x^(1/2)A numerical quantity scaled by itself and incremented by another numerical quantity scaled twice consecutively, the whole halved and then reduced by the root of the  first aforementioned quantity.
1+1=2In the preferred instantiation, the unit added to itself and equated to its first integer increment.
This will result in the sum being zeroThis can be appreciated to be zero.
A computerWith reference to FIG. 1, an exemplary system for implementing a scoring system includes a computing device, such as computing device. In its most basic configuration, computing device typically includes at least one processing unit and memory. Depending on the exact configuration and type of computing device, memory may be volatile (such as RAM), non-volatile (such as ROM, flash memory, etc.) or some combination of the two. This most basic configuration is illustrated in FIG. 1 by dashed line. Additionally, device may also have additional features and/or functionality. For example, device may also include additional storage (e.g., removable and/or non-removable) including, but not limited to, magnetic or optical disks or tape. Such additional storage is illustrated in FIG. 1 by removable storage and non-removable storage. Computer storage media includes volatile and non-volatile, removable and non-removable media implemented in any method or technology for storage of information such as computer readable instructions, data structures, program modules, or other data. Memory, removable storage, and non-removable storage are all examples of computer storage media. Computer storage media includes, but is not limited to, RAM, ROM, EEPROM, flash memory or other memory technology, CD-ROM, digital versatile disks (DVDs) or other optical storage, magnetic cassettes, magnetic tape, magnetic disk storage or other magnetic storage devices, or any other medium which can be used to store the desired information and which can be accessed by device. Any such computer storage media may be part of device. Device may also contain communication connection(s) that allow the device to communicate with other devices. Communications connection(s) is an example of communication media. Communication media typically embodies computer readable instructions, data structures, program modules or other data in a modulated data signal such as a carrier wave or other transport mechanism and includes any information delivery media. The term ‘modulated data signal’ means a signal that has one or more of its characteristics set or changed in such a manner as to encode information in the signal. By way of example, and not limitation, communication media includes wired media such as a wired network or direct-wired connection, and wireless media such as acoustic, radio frequency, infrared, and other wireless media. The term computer readable media as used herein includes both storage media and communication media. Device may also have input device(s) such as keyboard, mouse, pen, voice input device, touch input device, laser range finder, infra-red cameras, video input devices, and/or any other input device. Output device(s) such as display, speakers, printer, and/or any other output device may also be included.