How To Get Invited To Give a Talk

A crucial part of being a big-shot is getting invitations to give talks at conferences. Invitations do not come from heaven; they need to be manufactured. Here are a few techniques.

  1.  Organise a workshop and invite other big-shots that you know are organising conferences in the near future; this is part of your obligation to the big-shot network – they will reciprocate.
  2. Invite yourself.
  3. Hang out with an even bigger shot, and take the fallen fruit.
  4. Accept all invitations that you do get (but if its inconvenient, feel free to give it by telephone). Do not feel obliged to produce a new talk; you were not invited because of the perceived quality of the talk you might give, you were invited because you are a big shot.  In any case,  the audience will expect you to repeat your standard talk.